Winds blowing sand everywhere. Yesterday it was 91 degrees, today 87 and 50 mile per hour winds. Strongest winds we ever been in was 100 mph on the Oregon coast. Oregon does not have hurricanes so we just called it "a lot of wind".

Coldest I've ever seen was a Christmas day in upstate Vermont. A bone chilling -56 degrees. Although dangerous, it was neat to hear the frozen snow as we walked on it. You know its cold when your boots don't slip.

There is not much change going on in my life. Soon the full heat of summer will confine me to the indoor air conditioning. Around here it can be and often is 90 plus degrees at 10 at night. Of course after a day of triple digit temps 90 degrees can actually feel pretty nice.

My quest for an outdoor wheelchair apparently has sunk in the muck. The church without so much as a letter gave up. My request here have gone with no response. Even my own family did not respond to my email. You would of thought that a reply would of been the least they could of done. You know, "gee I'd like to help but........" type thing with the obligatory "hope you get it and good luck" ending. Nope, none of my family felt a need to respond.

Well last year I was stuck 7 times in sand in the heat of summer. Lucky for me, strangers had no problems replying to my need of help. Perhaps this year it will be number 8 that gets me. Stuck in sand, no stranger to rely on and 109 degree temps. Probably die out there, but that way the family won't need to worry about replying. Not that I suspect they were that worried/concerned with to begin with.

Oh last week I had a colonoscopy. I'm sure that is not how it is spelled. I fought against this procedure since the mid 90's. However since my Doctor retired, and I wanted to start off on the right foot with the new Doctor I finally agreed. This is a rather humiliating procedure. The night before you get to clean out your system. Once started don't get to far from the toilet. Morning comes and you do it again. This made no sense to me. I had nothing to eat since 8:30 am the morning before. After the night time cleaning out how in the world could there be anything left the next morning? I think the 2nd dose was Doctor revenge. After all, he'll be in the target zone soon :)

I told the receptionist at the time of the procedure that I tried sending in a surrogate asshole but I couldn't catch the cat. The young girl didn't seem to get it. Funny I'm here to get a steel shaft shoved up my you know what and the receptionist has no sense of humor.

The Doctor had the sense of humor. As the Anesthesiologist was making sure I was well doped up the Doctor came in saying: "Hello everybody". Just like Doctor Nick from the Simpsons.

Than all went black.

Memory fragments, Ever have those? Piece of an old memory pops into your head. Not really whole, just a section. Since my earlier years of abuse of alcohol I seem to have lots of these fragments. Most of the time they are not important little tidbits from a drunken haze. But some seem to pop out and hit me like a ton of bricks. One such fragment was of a time when I was very young and my mother leaving me in a hospital. Don't have much to go on, just little fragments of her leaving without saying goodbye. Being visited by my Grandmother Smith who gave me a big orange or red plastic train. Possibly a visit from my father or some male, and finally being taken from the hospital by I think my mother and having to leave the big red or orange train behind.

I think at some point my mother had considered giving me up. Or maybe she's planning on that now?

Later in life came the tonsils and adenoids. We had an ice cream party the night before. Must of been 8-10 of us kids in the hospital room for the procedure. The next morning, as we all played the nurses would come in and remove a child. A few minutes later the child would return but very quickly fall asleep. Being my young mind was as sharp as a baseball bat I just knew they were killing us kids! When I got my shot I fought against the drug. Even as they put the mask on me in the operating room I fought them. I was told to count backwards from ten. Not only did I cunt backwards from ten but back up eight. Don't remember much after that must I must of won cause I'm still here.............